How to have a positive rage

April 30, 2012
How to have a positive rage

Hi! I'm Stella

As a speaker and executive coach, Stella Grizont works with over achievers who are seeking deeper career fulfillment and with organizations who are dedicated to elevating the well-being of their employees.
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We're all about positivity at WOOPAAH. But occassionally shit hits the fan. Here are some positive techniques for honoring a melt-down or rage attack.

1. Don't push it away. Look at it. It's ugly. But it's your truth right now.

2. If you're boiling and going to burst, may we suggest a temporary quarantine. 1) Your negative vibes are contagious. 2) At the height of your experience you may cause harm. No need to let it spread - even though you're ready to kill everything in sight.

3. Find a safe target. May we suggest a pillow or wet dish rag. The wet dish rag is especially satisfying when it hits a counter top (free of items or glassware, please). Proceed to hit the pillow or swing it against a couch (avoid break-able objects). Avoid expensive objects, technology, or anything that shatters.

4. You should be feeling some relief at this point. Continue to move your body. May we suggest a little dance or a tantrum. Shake everything and anything that feels like it needs shaking. Use your voice, too. Scream if you have the luxury of solitude. Or not.

 

5. Don't be ashamed to look a little crazy. Continue to move and shake and scream and cry. Don't judge yourself. Let it out. Don't mind the visual below - it's to emphasize the absurd - and to embrace it.

Lastly, once you've cooled off you are now more available to seek support. Go to someone who accepts you for who you are no matter what you do. Ask this person for permission to just download. "I'm having a crazy time and feeling _______, do you mind listening while I work it out in words?"

Remember, being positive is not the oppositive of negative. It's about keeping the right balance. If you've been moved to experience such potent rage. Ask the rage, "what can I learn from you?" "What message are you sending me?"

Paying attention to our negative emotion is the best way to move through it. Then carry on with your tool-kit of pick-me-up's to maintain more positive experiences (at a ratio of 3:1) from there. 3 positive feelings for every one negative is the tipping point to flourishing. To learn more about that read Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson.

Hope this helps! Happy mental health.

Stella

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