A Few Thoughts on Change

Every night before bed, I turn off the lights in our house and check the locks.  But because I'm usually tired, I don't feel like walking all the way over to the door (even though it's just 15 steps!) - so I'll use the flashlight on my phone and shine it at the door slit.  That way I can see if the bolt is in the door jam. 


I did this a few days ago and marveled at how something so small had such a big impact. If that few inches of metal isn't positioned in just the right way, it makes our whole house not secure.

My clients often come to me when they're not feeling secure, ready to abandon their team, job, or even career... but sometimes all they need is to make one small turn for everything to feel safe again.

For example, Christine was having massive issues with her new boss, Jen (I've changed their names for privacy). Jen was belittling Christine in front of others, giving her huge assignments without enough time and resources to complete the work well, and ignored Christine's questions when she asked for help.

Christine went from being in love with this dream opportunity to feeling bullied and ready to quit. Not only that, Christine became very depressed and cried for several days.  She had such a good feeling about this job and even this boss and now she was questioning her judgment and wondering if there was something fundamentally wrong with herself; she wondered if she was cursed or somehow attracting really bad bosses.

We shined the flashlight and realized that Christine could at least have an honest dialogue with Jen before calling it quits. And she did. And everything changed immediately. Jen was very sorry and thanked Christine for sharing. Christine felt a deep relief and freedom.  Christine became effortlessly empowered to set healthy boundaries and was completely unapologetic about them. Now she's flourishing and on fire. It was just a 30-minute conversation, but now Christine is living in a whole new world.

I see this happen all the time. Everyday.

I hope this whole lock analogy makes sense - it did at 12 am when I was checking the door.  But regardless, the idea here is that sometimes you don't have to turn your whole life upside down... there may be one small thing you can do that will make you feel tremendously more confident, happy, and safe, right where you are.

Maybe it's having a whole-hearted, fearless conversation that you've been avoiding. Maybe it's choosing to block off time for lunch and learning to say, no, to meeting requests. Maybe it's choosing to meditate for 10 minutes before listening to the news. What do you think it could be for you?

I'm beaming you the willingness to see it and the courage to do it, or be it.

With love,
Stella