How I deal with negative feedback...
Yesterday I met up with my mastermind group, a posse of entrepreneurs with whom I meet monthly to swap notes, stay accountable, celebrate, and commiserate. I was telling this group very enthusiastically about my upcoming course, Happiness Hacks, and I received an overwhelming sense of positive validation. I also received some very valuable constructive feedback.
Even though the comments were totally positive all I could focus on was the stuff that was wrong. My whole mood plummeted. I went from feeling totally excited to deflated and hopeless. I started doubting myself and retracting inwards. I noticed I stopped fully engaging in our meeting and instead ruminated about how everything sucked. Does this ever happen to you? Thankfully, I knew what was causing this insanity and roped myself back into the present moment.
What happened was a case of my brain’s negativity bias.
But it’s not just me, everyone's brain is designed with a negativity bias. Our attention naturally - AUTOMATICALLY - goes towards what’s bad, dangerous, and wrong. This instinct is a relic of our caveman ancestors who needed to pay mind to anything that threatened their livelihood. We’ve inherited a way of thinking that helps us survive, but not one that necessarily helps us live our dreams and thrive.
So are we doomed? Yes and no. If you continue to let your mind control you - then, my friend, things don’t look good. But you have a choice! You can hack your system!
That’s why I'm developing the Happiness Hacks course. I’ll be taking you through the latest research that reveals what drives our happiness and how to flourish. Stay tuned - it’s coming out later this Fall (I’ve got to integrate all that constructive feedback I received :).
In the meanwhile, you can get started with these insights on how to hack your negativity bias by Genna Douglass, a fellow MAPPster, and WOOPAAH’s research extraordinare. Genna asks the question: Why does being present really matter? Do you really know?
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PPS If you have any questions, just holla! stella at woopaah.com
Stella Grizont if the founder of WOOPAAH, a company on a mission to awaken individuals to their most awesome, creative, and productive selves through play and positive psychology! She has a masters degree in the science of happiness from the University of Pennsylvania. She writes, keynotes, and enjoys wearing outrageous colors.