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Wednesday
Jul292015

Hating Your Job? Want To Be Happier At Work?

  

Hey!

Are you feeling drained, bored, resentful, and/or grouchy because you spend most of your time at a place that doesn’t fulfill you or treat you the way you deserve? 

Are you feeling checked out - even though checking out isn’t your style? Is this crummy situation beginning to affect your confidence, mood, relationships, and even your health? Unfortunately, you're not alone. The truth is that being unhappy at work is all too common. According to research...

  • 80% of workers aren't engaged in their work.
  • Only half of Americans said their organizations make them feel valued.
  • 1 out of 3 employees doesn't believe their employer is truthful.
  • 1 out of every 8 visits to the doctor is related to stress at work.

It doesn't have to be this way. Stop letting your bad job pervade the rest of your life. You can work happier and live better.  I know you can - because that's what I've been helping people do for 10+ years!

Too many of people are either waiting for something to change or are ready to quit in order to feel happier at work. But you have more control than you may think. 

On August 19th at 5:30 PST/8:30 EST I'm doing a no-cost training to help those who are feeling stranded and stuck in their careers called, STOP HATING YOUR JOB and BE HAPPIER AT WORK NOW.

In this training I'll teach you:

  • Three CRITICAL questions you MUST ask yourself before making any big decisions
  • The hidden and not so hidden signs that you're sabotaging your happiness and career
  • How to instantly shift your mood and behaviors so you can be more motivated, focused, and positive
  • Why ignoring the source of your problems is the worst thing you can do
  • The fastest method for identifying where you are stuck and what needs to change
  • How to discover what's most important to you and will bring you true fulfillment
  • The five part strategy for loving your work (and why passion, alone, isn't enough!)

 
You’re too talented (even if you may be doubting it at this point) and life is too short to spend most of your day in a situation that you resent, or worse, that's beginning to impact your health, your relationships, and quality of life.    

Don't waste another breath complaining, another hour looking for a dream job, or another year just getting by.  The work experience you desire, and life you want is available and waiting. 

Hope you love your job...but if not, join this training!  

In your corner, 
Stella

PS If you have any friends who are feeling miserable at work, please share this!
 

Wednesday
Jul082015

Why Don't We Always Follow Good Advice?

 

 

Have you ever gotten advice that you know could make your work or life easier, but strangely enough, you just don’t follow it?

Who hasn’t, right?! Chalk it up to human nature, right? Well, not so fast….

I want to share with you a wonderful story about finding a solution—followed by finding a solution that actually worked this time. The story has the best ending—with a fascinating moral nicely tucked in. It’s about a Lucky Iron Fish.

The story begins with a pretty big issue: At least 50% of the population of Cambodia was severely anemic due to their diet of mostly rice and fish (notoriously low sources of iron).

Chronic anemia (aka, iron deficiency) is very serious. It can lead to all sorts of medical problems, including premature birth, pregnancy complications, even death in some adults.

Enter Geometry Global, a Dubai-based company, which calls itself an “activation” agency, that was on a mission to solve this health crisis. And after lots of research, they did! It turns out that cooking with a small piece of iron for just 10 minutes could provide a family with 75% of their daily iron intake. It was a brilliant, low-cost, sustainable, eco-friendly solution!

Excited, they distributed smoothly crafted small blocks of iron to families all throughout Cambodia, complete with cooking instructions. And those families sure used their new iron blocks...for doorstops, paperweights, decorative objets—pretty much for everything but cooking.

Hmmm. Why wouldn't the Cambodians cook with this little iron block—especially since it could save lives?

Back to the drawing board the researchers went. This time, they studied Cambodian culture. One very common positive image they kept seeing was a fish—the cultural symbol of hope and good fortune.

That was it! Distribute the same amount of iron but this time in the shape of a lovely little fish. Lucky Fish! And poof, in less than nine months, iron deficiencies in Cambodia were markedly reduced by 50% and the population as a whole was healthier. Why? Because a “lucky fish” was something they could really relate to. Simple as that. And simply remarkable, since the Lucky Fish Project won this year’s Grand Prix for product design at the Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity.

The moral of the story? The best solutions aren’t solutions unless they speak to one’s values, character and resonate with what’s most important to you.

Watch this three-minute video of the Story of the Lucky Fish.



Then think about the “lucky fish” solutions you’ve come up with in the past—or, how you might arrive at ones in the future. Then email me—I would LOVE to hear about them! 

And if you’d like help finding a solution that works for YOU, e-mail me here. Then let’s hop on the phone....I’m opening up 7 spots in July for a 30-minute complimentary call to help you come up with your kind of solution. Get on it: first come, first served!


Wishing you the best of luck,
Stella

Monday
Jun152015

Don’t have time (or energy) for fun? Read my story.


Hey All!

 

Last time I wrote you, I mentioned that I was in Miami Beach, vacationing with family—and discussed how our relationships are the biggest predictor of our happiness. I even included a sunny photo of my immediate and extended family—all smiles!—to illustrate my point. Well, I'm back from “vacation.” And not a moment too soon…

This was my first vacation with Linor, our beloved seven-month-old daughter. I was so excited about this holiday—my first vacation to the beach in over two years! I was looking forward to my parents and in-laws getting to enjoy time with their precious granddaughter—and for my husband and me to enjoy some time off

In retrospect, I have to wonder, What planet was I on?!  

There were times in those two weeks when I was straight up miserable.Go to the beach, are you kidding? I was so exhausted taking care of Linor—in a “strange” place, a different time zone, her routine totally upended—I just wanted to sleep. But that would mean sleeping away my vacation! (Have I mentioned this was my first one in over two years?!) I actually cried to my husband—and that's when he offered up these amazing words of wisdom:

“Stella, we just have to start stealing moments for ourselves.”

Since Linor was adjusting to East Coast time, she was waking up two to three hours earlier than at home—which was really early, like around 5am! So, instead of being cranky and miserable, we decided to make the most of it and be the first ones on the beach. We took Linor and watched the sunrise, which in Florida is particularly beautiful. That’s when I snapped the above picture :).

Even though we only stayed for 20 minutes (because her next nap was coming up)...it still made all the difference.

For the first time in more than a week, I felt my mood lift. We’d had a beautiful morning with a sherbet-colored sky, a soft breeze, and our little lalka (that’s “doll” in Russian). We had just stolen a moment! Suddenly, I wasn’t resenting not getting to enjoy my vacation—but rather, I was looking forward to our next stolen moment! 

Do you see where I’m going with this?! Even when we get what we asked for, it doesn't always turn out the way we were expecting. And often, we have no control over that.

So, instead of measuring your lifetime in years, months, weeks, days, or even hours, you might try breaking time down into moments. And when you think about it, it takes many, many more moments to fill a lifetime. An infinite amount of moments—with a nearly endless amount of opportunities to go with them.

Stealing that moment on the beach for ourselves made all the difference. It gave us a wonderful sunrise together and something unexpected to look forward to: our next stolen moment, along with the awareness that things weren’t so bad. Stolen moments are like the gift that keeps on giving! And for the remainder of our vacation, we looked for moments to steal whenever we could.

It became a game for me...where else could I snatch up a piece of joy?

And here’s the thing about moments: They add up.

Before you know it, you have a pile of moments to string together to create a meaningful story…vacation…life!

Think about it: What moments could you be stealing for yourself? 

Please send me an email and tell me—I would love to hear about them!

With love,

Stella

Wednesday
Jun032015

The biggest predictor of your happiness...



Hey there, 

I'm writing you from sunny Miami Beach..on vacation with my family (my hubby, Linor, my parents, and in-law's). 

Traveling with Linor, my six month old daughter, certainly isn't easy (or restful) - and I think I'll need another vacay just to recover from this one. 

That said, even though I may be tired...it's weeks like these that fuel my overall happiness. 

In fact, according to research, that's just about true for everyone.

According to John Cacioppio, the author of Loneliness: human nature and the need for social connection, it's our relationships that are the biggest and most critical predictor of our happiness - above and beyond increased pay, success, and even our health. 

So chew on this...since we tend to spend more time with the people we work with than our loved ones, ask yourself, how might I better connect with those I collaborate with each day?

Here are a few instant ways to enhance your relationships at work...and your own happiness: 

  1. Instead of the standard, "How are you?" Ask, "Hey, so what's been the highlight of your day so far?" This may lead to a more meaningful conversation where you discover something new about one another. 
  2. Next time someone does a great job, avoid just saying, "great job." Instead, point out what specifically you admire about their efforts. For example, "You presented with such confidence and ease - I liked how you kept your slides simple so I could just focus on your message."
  3. Write an unexpected gratitude letter.  If there is someone at work who you greatly appreciate, take the time to explicitly share how they impact you. This may very well be one of the most meaningful things either of you experience on the job. It can be very powerful if heartfelt. 


With much love and sunshine, 
Stella 




PS Thank you for all your feedback from my last newsletter (some just quick one liners, others revealing and tender). Every time I receive your notes following one of these newsletters it fills me up with a great sense of purpose.  

 

Thursday
May212015

Worried You Can't Handle It?



Hey there, 

Our daughter, Linor, is now learning to crawl (time flies!) and I love watching her.  Sometimes she grunts like a bodybuilder lifting seriously heavy weights.  

She doesn't get discouraged; she just keeps practicing…and falling down and getting back up. And I could just watch her doing this for hours.

Now, I know the whole “learning to crawl before you walk” expression is a bit old and overdone, but watching Linor go at it in the literal realm gives it a new and deeper meaning in the figurative sense.

Babies and toddlers are magnificently simple: They don’t know about fear and self-ridicule and aren’t wondering how lame or silly they must look.

They also aren't worrying:  "how I am ever going to run if this stuff feels so difficult now?"


In their early developmental stages, babies are wildly self-involved (in a good way!) and living fabulously in the present. So they don’t let anticipation of future challenges keep them from the matters at hand…and foot. Amazingly, we all started out like that! And then somewhere along the way, we learned about consequences—and that pure “infant innocence” was gone.

So that now, as adults, even when we’re learning something totally new—learning to crawl, so to speak—we’re not thinking about the next step, we’re fixated on how, and how well, we’re going to run the marathon, metaphorically speaking.

Know what I mean?!

I hear this concept so often with my coaching clientsThey worry that they won't be able to "handle it"—whatever it is—so they resist trying something new or attempting a new direction (despite being unhappy in their current situation).

Now I know you know what I mean….

One woman I coach, who is also a new mom, is launching her own company after working years as an art director. She says to me, "Stella, I can barely make time to meet with you, how I am ever going to run this company?”

One step at a time.

With each baby step you take, you expand and your capacity grows. Who you are today is very different than the person you will be when it's time to run the marathon. 

So if right now you worry you won't be able to handle the responsibility, the challenge, the time commitment, or maybe you worry that you won't have the energy, talent, resources, or maybe that your family might not be behind you...you are basing your assumptions on your current situation and perceived reality vs. the reality that will unfold in the future

Your capacity for what you can do, handle, and imagine has nowhere to go but up, when you take even tiny steps of action. Trust in yourself.

My mentor says that confidence is earned, not learned. You can “handle it,” but you'll only find out how by moving towards your big vision.

Take a moment now and ask yourself: 
1) Am I playing small in any area of my life? And if so, is it because I’m afraid I can't handle what I really want? 
2) What's one tiny thing I can do to move toward where I really want to be?
3) What’s the worst that could happen if I just do that one tiny thing?


Want support figuring out your next three baby steps to playing big, and true? As always, I'm here for you. In fact, maybe our talking can be your first one tiny thing.

Send me an email to set up a complimentary 30-minute session. Do it soon! I’ll be on vacation in late May….


Looking forward to hearing from you guys!

Much love, 
Stella