Have you been thinking about making a positive change in your life? Read this before you waste any more precious time!
When it comes to making a change, I’ve been hearing stories from way too many people whose behaviors are setting them up for failure. So, I’m devoting the next several newsletters to identifying the three major mistakes people commit in an effort to make a change in their life. (In fact, if you have time, listen to my teleseminar on the subject here—I’ve extended free access through April 1st!)
Mistake #1: Investing all your energy into creating something new without releasing what’s old and/or no longer working
Imagine you have a rock garden that you now want to transform into a vegetable garden. But before you can create the right conditions for your crops to flourish, you’ll need to rid the patch of all the rocks. In other words, in order to cultivate new opportunities (think: love, success, new experiences), you need to first let go of what’s standing in your way.
So much for metaphors. Let me tell you an actual story about this:
I had a client who used to love her job. But once she gave birth to her son, she started to resent the number of hours she was having to work—to the point where she had become miserable at her job. She decided to make a change: She would quit her job and start her own company; this way, she’d have more control over her hours and more time to spend with her son. Impressively, her new company took off! Within six months, she had so many clients, she had to turn business away—and she was making even more money than at her old job.
From the outside, she looked like a success story. But her inner experience told a very different tale. She was again miserable at work—with still not enough time to spend with her family. So, even though her original goal was clear, she couldn’t get there because she hadn’t examined what had been holding her back.
Through our coaching-session phone calls, we discovered that deep down, she didn’t feel that she deserved to “have it all.” Because she didn’t feel deserving of happiness with both work and family, she kept sabotaging what she really wanted.
Anything sound familiar here?!
Often, what was once effective and useful is no longer serving your new goals and wants. Before you can successfully make a big change, it’s important to examine the situation to determine if there are things that would be standing in your way. Such as:
- A belief or thought that brings you down, doesn’t support your sense of possibility
- A relationship that’s become toxic, or someone in your life who undermines where you want to go
- Conditions or behaviors that stymie your progress—like clutter in your office, a difficult commute to work, even your Facebook habit
Here’s an exercise I recommend that I find really helpful: Think about the struggles you’re having surrounding the change you’re trying to make. Write down all the possibilities that could be holding you back, including people, places and things—plus, thoughts and behaviors. Then examine your list. Anything starting to click?!
Need help figuring out what’s holding you back? Email me for a complimentary 30 minute session. I have some space in my calendar through April 1st to help you identify the stumbling blocks and figure out a plan for letting go.
BTW, that client with the work vs. quality-of-life issues? I am happy to report that in time and with the use of some very specific strategies, we were able to get her to a place where she could let go of her self-sabotaging ways and she’s now flourishing on her own terms.
I’d love to help you deal with what’s holding you back!
Interested in working with me as your coach? Let’s explore! My client roster is full right now but I will have some openings in late Spring/early Summer. If you would like to be on the waiting list or get a sense of what coaching with me is like, just e-mail me firstname.lastname@example.org.