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The key to feeling like you're making progress


Worried you’re not doing enough? Or moving the needle on the stuff that’s important to you? Enjoy this final installment of “Three mistakes people make around goal setting.”

The third thing that people do wrong when it comes to setting goals is... you don't track the right stuff.


Let me tell you about another client of mine who works in sales and is a top performer. They recently changed her pay structure and she felt demotivated. One of the ways she tracked her performance and how well she was doing was by her commission.

Even though she was a top performer she suddenly felt like a failure and like she wasn't good at her job- in fact- she was close to quitting her job.


Before jumping ship to another organization, I asked her what was her intention (remember, from my last newsletter)? What did she want from her work experience?  


We took some time to dig deep and understand that she wanted to learn and grow, she wanted to take on more leadership responsibility, and to practice using her creativity.

We decided rather than measure her performance using the new metrics set by her job which put her on the verge of quitting (even though she was a top performer) - we were going to create our own metrics.

So everyday I asked her to reflect on 4 questions that tracked her intention:


What did I learn today?

How have I practiced my leadership skills today?

How did I approach a challenge in a creative way?

What am I grateful for?


Once she started tracking her answers to those questions - a whole new world opened up. She felt like she was making daily progress on what was most important to her.


David Cooperider, a leader in positive psychology, says, "The questions we ask determine the reality we create." If you are asking questions that perpetually point to how far away you are from your big goal, or how you don’t have enough of xyz than you’re going to feel like crap and most likely abandon ship.

But if you focus on the process of fulfilling your intention and acknowledge you are actively LIVING your intention now than you’ll find yourself more motivated and ready to take on greater challenges. 

To recap this series on goal setting:

We reviewed three mistakes that people make when it comes to setting goals:
1. They don't take the time and energy to let go of the stuff that's not serving them
2. They set goals without intention
3. They track the wrong metrics - and that can mess up one's motivation

I hope you’ve enjoyed this. As always, I love hearing from you. Has this impacted how you think or approached your goals? Please drop me a line and share!


And of course, if you want some help figuring out your questions or how to ensure you’re working towards what matters, e-mail me and let’s chat!


Why is it so hard to let go?

So, in my previous newsletter, I was talking about goal setting, making a positive change and how hard that can be—namely, because of three major mistakes I see too many people making.  Goal blockers, let's call them.  Just to recap:

Mistake #1: Investing all your energy in creating something new without first releasing what's old and/or no longer working

Why is this such a universal mistake? 

It's not easy to let go of stuff, of people, or beliefseven if it's for our own good. So, why is it so damn hard to let go? Behavioral economists and positive psychologists have come up with two theories I can wrap my head around. See how either (or both) of these resonates with you:

 1. The endowment effect— by which people assign more value to something merely because they own it

One of the most famous examples (there are ton) of the endowment effect is from a study in which participants (who were college students) were given a coffee mug and then offered the chance to trade it for an equally priced amount of pens. Turned out that the amount the participants would charge in exchange for the mug was roughly twice the amount they had been willing to pay to acquire it.

In other words, we have a tendency to overvalue something we own versus something we don't. And this overvaluing can extend to our ideas, our beliefs, our relationships, our experiences, even our sense of identity (as in, feeling superior or overconfident in a particular context). No wonder we have such a hard time giving up stuff….

Why do we prefer what we own? It's the "known" factor; it's easier to value something we know, or own, versus what's out there that could be questionable.
We're wired to prefer the sure thing. It's safe.
Which leads me to the second scientific theory of why it’s tough to let go:

2. The Negativity Bias by which our brains are predisposed to assign more importance to bad or threatening or unsettling things

Apparently, being negative comes naturally to humans. (Really!)

The possibility of a threat or the worst happening carries more weight than the status quo.

Scientists trace it to our survival instincts—how we react when facing real danger.

Okay, enough already with all the whys, right?

If you want to create positive change in your life, you have to be able to let go of the known stuff, the sure things, and not see stepping into uncharted waters as necessarily going off the deep end.  

That’s where I come in!

I can work with you to help identify what's holding you back (and why) and then start focusing on achieving your new goal without all the baggage.

What you need is a collaborator/coach. Interested? Ready to make a change??

Email me for a complimentary 30-minute session.

Next newsletter: Mistake #2! Stay tuned….          

My best,



PS: Can’t wait for the remaining newsletters? Want to hear my talk where I reveal all three reasons why you’re not achieving your goals and how to master them? You can listen here for gratis until March 31st.


What's holding you back?


Hey Everyone!

Have you been thinking about making a positive change in your life? Read this before you waste any more precious time!

When it comes to making a change, I’ve been hearing stories from way too many people whose behaviors are setting them up for failure. So, I’m devoting the next several newsletters to identifying the three major mistakes people commit in an effort to make a change in their life. (In fact, if you have time, listen to my teleseminar on the subject here—I’ve extended free access through April 1st!) 

Mistake #1: Investing all your energy into creating something new without releasing what’s old and/or no longer working

Imagine you have a rock garden that you now want to transform into a vegetable garden. But before you can create the right conditions for your crops to flourish, you’ll need to rid the patch of all the rocks. In other words, in order to cultivate new opportunities (think: love, success, new experiences), you need to first let go of what’s standing in your way. 

So much for metaphors. Let me tell you an actual story about this:

I had a client who used to love her job. But once she gave birth to her son, she started to resent the number of hours she was having to work—to the point where she had become miserable at her job. She decided to make a change: She would quit her job and start her own company; this way, she’d have more control over her hours and more time to spend with her son. Impressively, her new company took off! Within six months, she had so many clients, she had to turn business away—and she was making even more money than at her old job.

From the outside, she looked like a success story. But her inner experience told a very different tale. She was again miserable at work—with still not enough time to spend with her family. So, even though her original goal was clear, she couldn’t get there because she hadn’t examined what had been holding her back.  

Through our coaching-session phone calls, we discovered that deep down, she didn’t feel that she deserved to “have it all.” Because she didn’t feel deserving of happiness with both work and family, she kept sabotaging what she really wanted.   

Anything sound familiar here?!

Often, what was once effective and useful is no longer serving your new goals and wants. Before you can successfully make a big change, it’s important to examine the situation to determine if there are things that would be standing in your way. Such as:

  • A belief or thought that brings you down, doesn’t support your sense of possibility
  • A relationship that’s become toxic, or someone in your life who undermines where you want to go
  • Conditions or behaviors that stymie your progress—like clutter in your office, a difficult commute to work, even your Facebook habit 

 Here’s an exercise I recommend that I find really helpful: Think about the struggles you’re having surrounding the change you’re trying to make. Write down all the possibilities that could be holding you back, including people, places and things—plus, thoughts and behaviors. Then examine your list. Anything starting to click?! 

Need help figuring out what’s holding you back? Email me for a complimentary 30 minute session. I have some space in my calendar through April 1st to help you identify the stumbling blocks and figure out a plan for letting go. 

BTW, that client with the work vs. quality-of-life issues? I am happy to report that in time and with the use of some very specific strategies, we were able to get her to a place where she could let go of her self-sabotaging ways and she’s now flourishing on her own terms. 

I’d love to help you deal with what’s holding you back!

Interested in working with me as your coach? Let’s explore! My client roster is full right now but I will have some openings in late Spring/early Summer. If you would like to be on the waiting list or get a sense of what coaching with me is like, just e-mail me 


My best,



New Year, New Approach Follow Up

Hey y’all,

Thanks to everyone who joined New Year, New Approach! 

To listen to a recording of the tele-seminar, click here.

If this sounds like you, give it a listen: 

  • Overwhelmed with just how much you want to accomplish and don't know where to start.
  • Afraid you're going to fail or already fell off the wagon.
  • Given up on setting new year goals/resolutions all together.
  • Haven't even had a chance to focus and get clear on what you really, really want this year.
  • You're about to make a big move and want to be certain it's the right one. 
  • It's one hour and free. I bet you'll never think about goal setting the same way. 

 You'll learn how to:

  • Avoid the three biggest mistakes I see people make around goal setting! 
  • Practice my favorite goal setting tool to ensure you're focusing on the right stuff. 
  • Understand why the brain has a tough time letting go of unsupportive patterns and what you can do about it.

Here's what some of the attendees had to say:

  • "Very thought provoking session last night… thank you it was in and of itself a gift." —Ellen H.
  • "Wow! Loved it! So smart, so helpful! And so inspirational!" —Olga L.
  • "Wonderfully informative and motivating call… I absolutely want to start coaching with you." —Jen H. 
  • "I'm connecting the dots in a way I've never seen. Seriously, had some major break throughs...thank you!." —Lisa W.

Many people have e-mailed me about how we can work together...if you're interested in one-on-one work, I have space for just two additional coaching clients now through June. 

Interested? Let's set up a complimentary exploratory conversation before Feb 27th. Schedule right here.

Wishing you a bright and beautiful 2015 - may this be the year you make it all happen!

My best,



New Year, New Approach...a free workshop (plus, I'm a mommy!)

Hey y'all,

Happy New Year! 2014 was big...I welcomed by baby girl, Linor, into this world. She smells like sweet cream and has already been a catalyst for a lot of personal transformation (stories coming soon!). 

Thank you for all your support this year. For reading my posts, for sharing your feedback, and for all your referrals and love.


Some more 2014 highlights I'm proud to share:

  • Giving my first Tedx talk in Alaska

  • Coaching rising stars and executives from from Salesforce, Sephora, and Groupon

  • Teaching workshops at awesome organizations including Digitas, Learnvest, VMWare, and The Ken Blanchard Companies

  • Speaking at GSummit and sharing the stage with Neil Degrasse Tyson and Jane McGonigal

  • Becoming the business culture advocate and advisor for

  • Reaching over 2,800 students through my online class on the science of happiness

I'm excited for 2015 and if you're like me, you have a lot you want to as my gift to you, to help you kick-butt and set yourself up for success, I’ve created a free one hour tele-seminar: New Year, New Approach

Here’s what you’ll learn in New Year, New Approach:

  • Decipher the difference between a resolution, intention, and goal and why that’s critical to your success

  • Practice my favorite tool to help you figure out what you really want and how to achieve it

  • Learn the science behind goal setting and get inspired and excited for living 2015!

RSVP now
It’s free, one hour, and you can call in from anywhere, but space is limited.

Wishing you a bright and beautiful year ahead!